Vulnerable Me – Almost One Year Later
It’s been almost a year since I started on this Vibrant Wellness journey and posted my first post. I felt the anniversary creeping up and a deep disappointment began to grow within myself.
If I’m going to be real, I’ve been beating myself up these past few weeks and I feel I’ve let myself down in the area of vibrant wellness. A year ago I dreamed of this post and how exciting it would be to celebrate my achievements. I had envisioned a different body, one year later.
I am pretty much the same weight I was when I started. I was down 20, up 10, down 22, up 15 and now I’m back to where I started. I’ve experienced a roller coaster of emotions and health issues this year. I’ve created obstacles for myself. Sometimes, I’ve made things more difficult than they really needed to be.
Why do I keep holding on to this unhealthy body?
I don’t have the answer. I’m not sure I ever will? I have a group of people that surround me with love and encouragement. They are there to help me whenever I reach out. When I’m having a difficult time I tend to regress and I find it difficult to ask or accept help. It makes me cry to think of everyone just waiting for me to reach out. Patiently waiting for me to “get it.” I’m learning that it’s times like these that I must let go of the pride, accept the help with gratitude and be guided in the right direction. I am not alone.
What can I celebrate one year later?
My body can do more than I give it credit for! I did hike that mountain this year! I’m super proud of that! I loved all the feelings I was feeling while I was doing it, when I reached the top and even when I made it to the bottom. I felt ALIVE! I want more of that in 2015! CELEBRATE.
I’m a conscious emotional eater. I’m still an emotional eater but I do it less because I am able to recognize it for what it is. I realize it when it’s happening and can redirect myself to other tools to figure things out. There were many times that I wanted that Quarter Pounder with cheese that I broke up with and I’m honored to say that it’s been a year since I’ve had one! CELEBRATE.
I worked on my emotional fitness. I’ve spent time healing old wounds and discovering new ways to manage challenges that come up. The last year I’ve created a solid foundation for my Great Life. A springboard to living the full life I wish to live. CELEBRATE.
I’ve changed my relationship with myself. I try to be more gentle, show more gratitude for what my body can do and less negative self talk. I’m still a work in progress but things are headed in the right direction. CELEBRATE.
I’m about to embark on one of my biggest dreams! Save the date Mar. 7 & 8! I’m hosting an event that will be filled with sacred moments, speakers that share a vision for a more joyful world, and creative fun to sooth your soul. More on that in a future post. CELEBRATE.
I may not have reached all the goals I wanted to reach this year and the outside of my body doesn’t match everything that changed on the inside but I’m choosing to learn from the negative and CELEBRATE the positive.
You have this one life.
How do you want to spend it?
Questioning? Hating yourself?
Dieting? Running after
People who don’t see you?
Be brave. Believe in yourself.
Do what feels good. Take Risks.
You have this one life.
Make yourself proud.
I’m going to get out of my own way in 2015. I choose to work harder to make myself proud, in this one life! xo