Deep breath in. Deeeeeeeeeeep breath in.
I wanted to start this blog with where I am today. My future posts will tell the stories of how I got here and where I’m going. I am on a journey to live My Great Life. For many years, my weight has held me back. I haven’t been white water rafting because I’m afraid I won’t fit into the wet suit. My hips barely made it into the kayak opening this past summer. I don’t want to hide behind plus size clothes. I want to climb mountains. One of my biggest goals for achieving My Great Life is to be a fit & healthy weight, that allows me to do anything my heart desires.
I believe that part of my journey is to share the real, raw and vulnerable journey with you. It is for this reason that I braved a bikini in front of the camera! Not because I think I look awesome but so that you could see where I’m starting. My focus that day was to try to love myself. It was super easy to pick out all my flaws in these pictures but part of loving myself starts with loving all of me. Even the parts I think need the most work.
I must thank Linda Patterson of Timeless Edge Photography for taking this journey with me. If we’re going to be honest I was a bit of an emotional wreck when I arrived for this shoot. There were tears and laughs. I was scared and excited. Lessons were learned. I couldn’t have bared my soul without her. I’ve been invited to her studio monthly to be photographed in this bikini to document the transformation. I am forever grateful. And will be extremely happy when I feel awesome in it!!
I am an emotional eater. I eat when I’m stressed, sad, happy and bored. I’ve struggled with weight for the majority of my adult life. I’m an instant gratification girl so when I don’t see results immediately, I get frustrated and move on to the next best thing. I think I’ve tried just about every diet, with little success. This time around I’m putting in the hard work and dedication to get where I want to go and I haven’t put a window of time to it! (pressure removed) I’m going to eat real food, move more and strive to reach my goal every day. Down 65 lbs! Smaller clothes! Lots of energy!
Today, I own it! I own my weight. I own what I look like, right now. I understand that I am enough and worthy no matter what size I am.
I will no longer hide the number on the scale or associate that number with my worth.
What can I say that I like about this picture? I can see the shape of my old legs – I have great legs hiding under there! I like my little toes. I have great eyes. I enjoy my height of 5′ 10″. I like my long hair. When you stand in front of the mirror, what can you say that you like about your appearance – just one thing!
I end with this…I am grateful that I have a body that is willing to work with me after all the years of abuse I’ve subjected it to. I’m grateful for the friends & family that are surrounding me and supporting me on the journey, in greater lengths than I ever could have imagined. I’m grateful for the healthy food in the fridge. I’m grateful that I am brave enough to bare my soul (and body) to you. I’m grateful that the scale no longer has power over me because there is nothing left to hide. Today, I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am empowered to live My Great Life.