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Vulnerable Me

Deep breath in.  Deeeeeeeeeeep breath in.

deep breath

I wanted to start this blog with where I am today.  My future posts will tell the stories of how I got here and where I’m going.  I am on a journey to live My Great Life.  For many years, my weight has held me back.  I haven’t been white water rafting because I’m afraid I won’t fit into the wet suit.  My hips barely made it into the kayak opening this past summer.  I don’t want to hide behind plus size clothes.  I want to climb mountains.  One of my biggest goals for achieving My Great Life is to be a fit & healthy weight, that allows me to do anything my heart desires.

eeeeekI believe that part of my journey is to share the real, raw and vulnerable journey with you.  It is for this reason that I braved a bikini in front of the camera!  Not because I think I look awesome but so that you could see where I’m starting. My focus that day was to try to love myself.  It was super easy to pick out all my flaws in these pictures but part of loving myself starts with loving all of me.  Even the parts I think need the most work.

I must thank Linda Patterson of Timeless Edge Photography for taking this journey with me.  If we’re going to be honest I was a bit of an emotional wreck when I arrived for this shoot.  There were tears and laughs.  I was scared and excited. Lessons were learned.  I couldn’t have bared my soul without her.  I’ve been invited to her studio monthly to be photographed in this bikini to document the transformation.  I am forever grateful. And will be extremely happy when I feel awesome in it!!

I am an emotional eater.  I eat when I’m stressed, sad, happy and bored.  I’ve struggled with weight for the majority of my adult life.  I’m an instant gratification girl so when I don’t see results immediately, I get frustrated and move on to the next best thing.  I think I’ve tried just about every diet, with little success.  This time around I’m putting in the hard work and dedication to get where I want to go and I haven’t put a window of time to it! (pressure removed)  I’m going to eat real food, move more and strive to reach my goal every day.  Down 65 lbs!  Smaller clothes!  Lots of energy!

bikini DecToday, I own it!  I own my weight.  I own what I look like, right now. I understand that I am enough and worthy no matter what size I am.

I will no longer hide the number on the scale or associate that number with my worth.

What can I say that I like about this picture?  I can see the shape of my old legs – I have great legs hiding under there! I like my little toes.  I have great eyes. I enjoy my height of 5′ 10″.  I like my long hair.  When you stand in front of the mirror, what can you say that you like about your appearance – just one thing!

I end with this…I am grateful that I have a body that is willing to work with me after all the years of abuse I’ve subjected it to.  I’m grateful for the friends & family that are surrounding me and supporting me on the journey, in greater lengths than I ever could have imagined.  I’m grateful for the healthy food in the fridge.  I’m grateful that I am brave enough to bare my soul (and body) to you.  I’m grateful that the scale no longer has power over me because there is nothing left to hide.  Today, I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I am empowered to live My Great Life.

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70 Comments on "Vulnerable Me"

  1. Linda says:

    Melsha, I’m so proud of you! I can’t wait to witness your journey, Big hugs to you my friend!

    • Melsha Shea says:

      Thanks so much Linda!! And thank you for walking this journey and documenting it all every step of the way!! xo

  2. Aly Pain says:

    Yeah Melsha!! You have so elegantly and courageous opened the door for us to imperfectly follow you, love ourselves and be authentic in our journeys. With abundant gratitude, congratulations!

  3. Scott says:

    You’re an inspiration Melsha! I can’t wait to watch this amazing journey you’re about to embark on! You’re going to kill it!

  4. Shawn says:

    It is never too late to start your journey!! I am proud of you for taking the first step. I look forward to reading about your progress and maybe you can even inspire me to start changing my life.

  5. Karl says:

    I’m proud of you as well Melsha! Can’t wait to watch as you grow and create positive change for you and your loving friends & family. The gang at the gym is excited to see you kick butt as well:)

  6. Michelle says:

    Melsha! This this is amazing! Courageous, Joyful and Beautiful in every.single.way. You’ve inspired me.

  7. Kristi says:

    BRAVE and BEAUTIFUL. I am blessed to know you and call you my friend. I am excited to see and read where your journey leads you. Honoured to be a cheerleader and supporter of your Great Life Journey xx

  8. Caroline says:

    Self radical LOVE xo tears of joy to see your journey unfold
    Lots of Love

  9. Em says:

    I found your lil blog through a fb link to your dear universe post…I’m a big fan of Linda from timeless edge and have prayed for you and your E in the past. You’re brave to post these photos and I’ll follow your journey. I am curious though…are you following a plan? And is it perhaps trim healthy mama? That’s what I’m following.

    • Melsha Shea says:

      Thank you so much! We appreciated the prayers while E was sick. She’s on the mend and out of danger now! In the future I will definitely be telling you more about the team I’ve surrounded myself with! I am doing a plan with Marie Tower Nutrition. It’s an easy to follow plan that helps you lose weight and balance hormones. You don’t have to buy any special foods or supplements. It’s all about what and how and how much real food you are eating. I love her!! I feel really cared for as one of her clients. If you have anymore questions or want to share your journey with me email melsha@melshashea.com

  10. Darci says:

    So beyond proud of you! You are an amazing friend and I am lucky to be able to call you that! Love you 🙂

  11. Briana says:

    Melsha, you are beautiful inside and out. You inspire me to be brave, perfectly imperfect and love myself.

  12. Michelle says:

    Just beautiful.

  13. Gemma says:

    Melsha, this post is a beautiful illustration of how courage, vulnerability & authenticity can empower and inspire. Indeed, I feel both.

    Thank you for sharing your experience so bravely and for being willing to show up for your Great Life.

    I am really looking forward to watching your adventure unfold.

    Love,
    gem

  14. Tanya says:

    Great idea Mo.. Your beautiful inside and out ! I’m cheering you on. ! You can do it!

  15. April says:

    To say that I’m proud of you in this moment would be a gross understatement. I’m so excited to watch you change and grow and live as you take on this journey. See you on the other side sister …. we will get there!!! Muwah!!

  16. Lori says:

    You and your Great Life are simply gorgeous! I am awed and inspired, and behind you all the way. xo

  17. Hey Melsh, congrats on your journey! I believe that in order to understand who we are, we must know where we have been and how we got there. Each and every experience has helped to create who you are today. Relish in YOU! Regardless of where your journey takes you, I support you all the way.

  18. Deanna says:

    Dearest Melsha,
    You are such an inspiration. I only see your light that shines so brightly and yet I understand so completely your desire to have your ‘outside’ match your inside. I can’t wait to be a witness to your Great Life as it continues to unfold. Thank you for your willingness to be so raw and vulnerable. It truly is an inspiration. I know you are going to rock girl!
    Blessings dear one.

  19. Michele says:

    Melsha you prove once again how beautiful you are! I am cheering you on and am inspired. I too am embarking on a weight loss program – doing laps in the Y pool. U R amaaazing!

  20. Be~YOU~tiful…go girly go! We are all loving you & in your corner Melsha. Yay YOU! Xx

  21. Erin Klassen says:

    Guts and glorious goal!s Hot damn I and so proud of you! You are a true beauty through and through and to share your real journey demonstrates just how beautiful your selflessness is. I’m here cheering you on! xo

  22. Joanne says:

    Dear Melsha,

    This post reflects the lightness and love that flows through you. I can see it here and I noticed it the first time I met you. I wish you much care on your journey. Remember that caring for self is not simply an act of self-care but a practice of care for those who love you and those you love.

    Remember to ask for help. And, know that you are strong. I look forward to our great lives intertwining.

    With care,
    Joanne

  23. I am so incredibly proud of you Melsha! You are such a positive inspiration, and I know that you’re going to achieve everything you ever dreamed of. <3 YOU GO GIRL!

  24. Tammy says:

    I am so proud of you. Xoxo.

  25. Jaylene says:

    Amazing Melsha! Good luck, I am so very excited for you!

  26. Angela says:

    Melsha this brought me to tears!!
    You are my inspiration and your words really resonated with me. You make me want to be a better, healthier and more active woman! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so brave and honest. You are truly an amazing woman and I’ll be in your corner cheering for ya. Today is your day and nothing can stand in your way!!

    Best wishes,

    Ange C
    🙂

  27. Jasmine says:

    It’ll be totally worth it in so many ways. I was there last year when I began my journey, about 7 months, lost 50lbs since and still going. I’ve got less health issues, and so much more energy. I know you can do it. Can’t wait to see your amazing results. Way to go!

  28. Chloe says:

    Good for you, Melsha! Best of luck on your journey! You are a fabulous woman and so inspiring.

  29. Andrea says:

    There is such great beauty in vulnerability. I too am learning this, and I must say you’re simply radiant. I am in awe of your beautiful soul! Much love to you on this amazing journey.

  30. Melanie says:

    Wonderful sharing – Truly admire and appreciate your courage – thank you and I look forward to being a witness and supporter.

    Melanie

  31. You are my hero Melsha!! I am soooo proud of you and incredibly inspired by your transparency. I’m praying that your goals are achieved in a speed that would give God all the glory. I also pray that 2014 overflows with reward, opportunities, and blessings for you. I’m beyond excited to follow your journey and cheer you on Melsha. Love you sweet friend

  32. A Mc J says:

    Someone’s heart is smiling in Wainwright, AB.

  33. Karen says:

    You are Beautiful. Love ya.

  34. supersu says:

    yep—yep—and yep!!
    you go girl-i will be trying to keep up along with you–virtually….
    just wish i didnt like drink-y poo’s out with the girls so darn much!!!!
    ha
    (haven’t forgotten our ‘cally’s date’ we must make this happen as soon as it’s not so ‘freaking cold’ out here!)
    you are AWESOME!
    su 🙂

  35. Kris says:

    Oh Melsha, sniff. I am so happy and proud of you for doing this. You have such great energy and I am pumped with a capital P for your Great Life! You write just like you talk so I feel like I’m right there with you! Nice work!!!

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